Shall We Begin?

If you can’t remember ever having a psychic impression before in your life, you aren’t alone.  In fact most of the population is with you.  This is especially true now days when just about anything that you want to know can be found somewhere on the internet.  The trouble is, the internet is not capable of issuing you a warning when you might be about to step in to a dangerous situation and it cannot warn you when you may be associated with people who can only cause you trouble.  It cannot alert you to health problems, tell you what is going on with loved ones before they have a problem or be there 24/7 with an answer to whatever difficulty that you might be having emotionally. Intuition/psychic awareness is rather like the world wide web but its accuracy is only as precise as the interpreter of the input.  It can be a bit like going to a foreign language site without Google translator to get information if you don’t know yourself and have some confidence in what you are seeking.  Once you have broken through the protective mental gate that separates you from your higher self you will be amazed at your own ability to navigate through life at a quick as lightning speed with a confidence that you will never experience any other way. 

I have worked with a few people who were entertaining the possibility that they might be psychic and have found that there have been two kinds of students who have the most difficulty.  One is the guy who takes out the tarot cards and assumes that he is a master interpreter from the get-go.  His confidence is high and he won’t acknowledge a mistake in his ability.  These types usually will become bored with the whole business after a month or two.  The second type is the person who sees no connection in anything.  You can give this type a reading and they will not connect even the dots right in front of their face because they cannot focus.

Distraction and inability to focus on the situation at hand is a huge problem and without focus, forget it.  You will get nowhere. If your mind is constantly on your friends and social networking  it will be a huge impediment to your ability to look within. Try to set aside all distractions for a brief period each day, thirty minutes or so, to start with.  Most people call this meditation but I have never been able to relate to that word for some reason.  I have no idea why.  It is easier for me to think of it as just centering or finding your balance.  When you can let go of all thoughts of the outside world for a brief time you are on the road to success.  Some people find that lighting a candle or staring at a Lava Lamp is extremely helpful.  One of the major stumbling blocks to this in the new millennium is that there are a million distractions today that didn’t exist before. 

Distracted people will not make good psychics even with 10 sets of tarot cards and a crystal ball in front of them, but then neither will the person who is so cocksure that he/she doesn’t need to do anything but show up and look cool. Let us assume that you are a new breed of seeker and you have an open mind and some sense of self. 

When I first began to toy with the possibility that I might be able to develop psychically I started with automatic writing.  This was not terribly successful for me but it did help me develop more focus.  I can probably count on one hand how many times it was truly accurate but I stayed with it for several months because for one thing, it got me started writing, which has been helpful in many ways.  It started me focusing on myself more and not on the people around me so much, which I always had a tendency to do.  I guess I was so sure that I was not going to do anything that would amount to much that I tended to cater to others who seemed to need support.  This was a part of my personality at the time but it was also a learned behavior that I picked up from my Mother.  She is a Pisces and she has always put the needs of others first.  As long as they were appreciative of her efforts she was happy to do so, but when they were not she was angry and spiteful and some of her more selfish traits came out.  Since I didn’t really have the spiteful gene or much of the selfish one I was more out of balance than she was with the Pisces behavior which is very much in opposition to my sun sign personality, Virgo.  Automatic writing was something that I could go into easily because, with the exception of Gemini, Virgos are the thinkers and analyzers of the zodiac.  I wasn’t too frustrated that it wasn’t of much use.  I didn’t really expect it to be at that time.  I was going through a divorce and just having the ability to focus on ME and no one else helped a lot.  It wasn’t long after this that I graduated to tarot cards.  I can’t even remember why I made the decision to try them.  I think I was just curious as I would always look at the new age section of a bookstore when ever I found myself in one and there were usually several sets of different types of tarot cards there among the books.  I was just in a bookstore one day and had the money to buy them so I did.  Very random, very non-specific.  Be mindful of the random and non-specific things because many of them are anything but random.  Anyway, I brought the cards home and opened them up and took them all out of the package and thought,  I will never be able to figure these out!  There are too many of them and they don’t mean a hell of a lot to me as far as imagery.  This was a Rider-Waite deck which is one of the most widely known decks in the world and probably the oldest.  I didn’t get a lot out of them at that time.  Later I would discover more unusual and ornate decks which seemed to speak to me a bit more and I began to actually try to read some things -  only for myself, of course.  It wasn’t until I found a divination deck called the “Wisdom of Solomon” that I began to have any real success with the cards.  And these cards were not even tarot.  They were a set of cards with something like alchemy symbols on them and each one had a focus word on it.  Oddly enough, there was nothing really to focus on except the word that I could relate to as I knew nothing about alchemy, and strange as it may seem that simple thing helped me begin to get real psychic input even if the word on the card had nothing to do with what I was seeing mentally.  I was on a roll for sure with these cards and I wish that I still had them today.  Not to read with but to remind me of what a wonderful thing it was to make that breakthrough.  Later on, after I had graduated beyond them, I passed them on to a friend whom I was trying to help through a major crisis in his life.  They did not help him at all because ultimately he did not care to find his true self.  He just wanted to get through the bad patch in his life and go back to being a slacker and a slob and a cocaine addict once he was doing better.  What a waste of a fantastic divination tool that changed my life.  These cards are out of print now or I would definitely have replaced them.  When I have seen them for sale by used booksellers they are always asking an astronomical price for them, and Virgo that I am, I cannot justify the expense when it is only for sentimental reasons that I want them.  They mean a lot but not as much as paying the rent does.

It was much later that I began to feel that I could do better than being just a card reader.  I had just met a man who would be my mentor for several years and coach me until I was able to transition away from my “training wheels” as he called them and utilize only my mental faculties to read from then on.  It was a hell of a ride when that breakthrough came and I was such a hard case and lacking in confidence that the universe had to scream and yell at me to get my attention and make me do it.

I have heard of other people, some very famous who believed bizarre things when they began to receive psychic input.  Some believe that they are in contact with aliens from other planets.  I can see how this happens.  It is not something that you necessarily want to admit to once you get past it and get your bearings but it does happen.  It is also easy to wonder if you aren’t in contact with demonic spirits.  You really might not be sure what is going on, even if you have a mentor, because you might not want to tell anyone about the experience.  I  have honestly wondered if it wasn’t possible to go off the deep end mentally when the flood gates of psychic input open.  I was very lucky that I had some support people and a good grip on my intelligence and belief in my true self from my background in astrology or I might have wondered it myself.  The biggest problem that I had was listening.  I would dismiss a lot of what I received as just random thoughts so it came to a point where the fantastical was about the only thing that I would pay attention to.  That didn’t last long.  There came a time when there were voices in my head that would not shut up.  I would be sleeping but only in a mild state and I could hear voices yelling.  It was pretty intense for about two weeks.  I would put on headphones when it got to me too much and turn up some hard rock music to drown out the sound of these voices.  They weren’t actually telling me anything either.  If it had been a voice telling me to commit some evil act I would have been terrified and ran to my mentor but it wasn’t like that.  Sometimes I would get songs stuck in my head and they would play over and over again.  Most of the time it was just segments of a song but I did not understand it and I truly did not want to hear Ozzy Osborne singing Paranoid for an hour and a half.  Years later while watching the TV show “Medium”  I felt very relieved to see the main character, Allison DuBois, have an experience just like this.  The song playing in her head would not stop torturing her and she actually submerged herself entirely in the bathtub, hoping to drown out the music.

So one day this all got to be too much for me. I decided that I would go and buy a pistol and blow my head off to shut this up.  I got into the car and the voices in my head were screaming at me all the way to not do this.  I was determined to shut this off and at that point I didn’t care what they said, I just didn’t want them to say anything.  As I was approaching the store where I intended to buy a gun, I suddenly became violently ill.  I began to panic at that point and knew that I had to go home.  So I turned the car around and drove back home wondering if I would make it there before I vomited or passed out.  I did make it home safely and as I walked in the door of my house I was aware that the voices had stopped.  I almost couldn’t believe it.  They had been driving me crazy for so long the silence was frightening.  I smoked about 200 cigarettes and just sat and wondered what was happening to me now.  What did happen is that I began to understand one of the most prominent ways that I would receive psychic input from then on.  It would be with music. 

I told my mentor about this incident a few days later and he was furious with me for thinking that suicide would solve my problem.  He chastised me for quite a while but seemed pleased that the universe gave me such strong signals to get hold of myself.

It is a good thing that I have such an extensive knowledge of different kinds of music because the universe has a lot to tell.  I have discovered that I can set my iPod to shuffle and invariably the first song and sometimes several additional songs that play will speak to me about something I am dealing with.  If a particular song that has information for me is not in my music collection I will hear it playing in my head  until I either buy the song on iTunes or figure it’s message out on my own.  It is so easy to ignore psychic input when you are working or socializing so the music can get pretty loud if I am not paying attention well enough.  I have wondered what it must be like for people who work away from home to get these impressions and not be free to analyze what they are being told privately.  Interestingly enough, I had already left my job when the bulk of this began happening to me.  It is probably just as well because I cannot imagine being able to keep a job in the public sector now and do what I do.  My mentor was extremely fortunate to have an employer who understood his life and ability. He is truly one in a million in the area where I live.

Your journey in to being all that you are capable of may not take you anywhere near the roller coaster ride experience that mine has, but it is certainly a possibility if you struggle with your confidence.  My mentor was so distraught with his capabilities early on that he tried to drown them in alcohol.  He related a story to me once about having been so drunk that he was near to passing out on his couch when an entity in spirit came to him and forcibly yanked him out of his physical body and dealt with him severely.  When he came back he was so terrified that he ran to the nearest church and related the incident to an amazed congregation.  He was extremely fortunate that they were understanding and sympathetic.  I know for a fact that I would not receive this kind of help, but we are all unique in our journey and he was lucky to have gone to the right place at the right time.  He managed to give up drinking after this and work with his many abilities until he was able to teach them to others.  I feel so fortunate to have been one of his students and to have been hand-picked by him to receive such wonderful support and instruction. 

If you have already found your true self and can make use of all that the universe has to offer you, congratulations.  If you haven’t found your way yet, I hope that you will find it in a peaceful and wonderful way.  Your first step should always be back to the past to get your unique foundation to help you.  If your personal journey happens to be found on the road to hell and back try to remember that you are not alone in how it is manifesting.  As scary and crazy as it sounds you truly will have control over yourself, once you come out of it, that can make you feel uniquely qualified to lead others and make your world and theirs something truly worth the ride in the journey they call human life.  So many people have just survived and wondered at their existence.  They have lived life never really knowing why they were here and what they could have done other than work, eat, sleep, and try to survive what others have imposed upon them.  All of us experience these same issues but some of us can rise above and realize our full potential.  If you are one of those people, the universe is probably speaking to you now.  Answer it by discovering the true you.