Illusions of Grandeur

It is very likely that at some point in your journey back to your original self you will spend some time in celibacy.  The first thing that you might think of when you learn that some people are celibate could  be that they are unattractive and no one wants to be with them, but the definition of beauty and desirability is definitely in the eye of the beholder.  You have probably been out shopping  and seen couples together whom you couldn’t imagine in your wildest dreams being attracted to, but there they are, with a lover or spouse that seems to think very highly of them. Physical beauty alone is not always the dominating force behind attraction, although advertising would have you believe otherwise. Do your best not to fall into this trap. Once you have fallen victim to this mentality it is extremely difficult to disentangle yourself from the lie.  You will never get to the heart and soul of another human being or yourself if this is your only criteria for meeting and mating.  Truly, some people don’t give one damn about the heart and soul of the person that they want to bed.  This is unfortunate because in reality if you cannot see others as  people, just like you and not objects for your use, then you are half-ass playing at being human.  If your eyes and your genitals are the only parts of you that you use to allow yourself to feel love and affection you are missing the entire point of life, love, and the sexual expression which evolves from that.  Not to mention that your beliefs about yourself are askew.  This kind of mentality is what breeds all of the societal problems associated with promiscuous sex and the use and abuse of others for self gratification.  It does not matter what you read or see in magazines, movies, advertising, or anything that other people may be doing, you are being selfish and gluttonous and are a major contributor to the myth that other people are here to serve your needs.  

Our attitudes and beliefs about sex are not our own unless we have done extensive observation and soul searching.  They are a product of advertising, peer pressure, cultural gender assignment and ignorance.  These heaps of garbage that shape our attitudes are a huge stumbling block to development of your true self and the evolution of your soul.  This is the primary reason that, if you are called upon to rise above ignorance, celibacy will undoubtedly be on the agenda. For there is absolutely no other way to disentangle yourself from the deceit of marketing, the selfishness of abuse, the illusion of power, and the making of money using sex without stepping away from these things and taking a hard look at your personal contribution to the problems.  It is mandatory that you extricate yourself from the source of the illusion for you to ever recognize the essence of what must be done to stop the insanity and be your true self.  Make no mistake about it, it is you and you alone who must take this step.  It does not matter what other people say, do, think, feel, act upon, watch on television, see in films, read in magazines, or talk about in the bedroom, the locker room, the boardroom, or the classroom.  All sexual misinformation and control issues emanate from the individual. It really is necessary for you to establish your own beliefs about sex and the sexual act or you will forever be a slave to whatever current culture is dishing out to you in the form of propaganda which is only designed to separate you from your money and create fear by victimizing us. This victimization takes many forms but it has at it’s core in every case the illusion of empowerment and enslavement of others. If you are complicit, and I say complicit because that is what you are if you support in any form the assumption that another human being is yours to use for self gratification, then you are just as responsible for the continuation of abuse that exists in sexual expression in this world.  You may not rape anyone but if you do not speak out against those who have, you are complicit.  You may not buy porn but if you support friends who do and say nothing when they view it in your presence you are complicit. If you join in on conversations about the opposite sex that degrade and insult, you are complicit. If you have sex with a person that you care nothing for except to gain gratification for yourself, you are complicit.  This complicity is causing a great many new problems for our culture that has gotten so bad that the State of California felt compelled to try to legislate pure stupidity out of the populace by passing a “yes means yes” law.  It is hard to believe that such incredible ignorance exists, but until each individual on the planet takes personal responsibility for their contribution to these problems of lack of awareness of self you are going to see more and more of this kind of enforcement of (what should be) just common sense.

Not everyone will find themselves at the crossroads of whether or not they will continue to engage in sexual complicity or step away and go back to the origins of what is causing all of the madness, but if you do, be prepared to fly completely solo on this one because the superiority and power gained from using others as sexual toys is a game that no one wants to willingly stop playing once they are in it.  If you find yourself in celibacy, you will most likely find yourself alone in other areas of your life as well because no one engaged in the behavior will want to know why you are doing it.  They will be too afraid that your intelligence might rub off on them.  But this is not as terrible a thing as you might imagine.  Once you get past the initial shock of it, you will find that it has freed you from a mental prison that is a constant source of frustration in reality, and it will give you a new clarity of vision that is nearly impossible to attain unless you stop participating in the mass hypnosis of unreality.

At the beginning of this call to recognize the illusions of sex you may initially be hit with a situation of finding that there is no one that you feel attracted to or there appears to be no one attracted to you.  Your first thought may be that suddenly you are no longer attractive.  If you have developed any psychic ability by now you most likely will be told in dreams that this is not the case.  You can choose to recognize this or not.  The ego many times will not allow your true psychic sense to advise you.  A mentor of mine once told me that a person’s own neurosis can change a reading.  Their neurosis can also prevent them from seeing the truth of the learning experience that they are currently working with as well.  If you were attractive before you don’t need to assume that you are suddenly ugly now.  Most people will allow life to give them a short period of celibacy and they may even make the choice themselves if they have had a recent unpleasant experience in a relationship, but if it happens to last more than a few months they may feel like they are owed a sexual encounter and seek one with the attitude that “any love is good love”.  Just remember that the sexual act isn’t love.  It can manifest as a result of love but it truly is not love, or rape and abuse would not occur.  If you give in to the urge to break from celibacy without life having given you the freedom to do so naturally, expect life to hit you again in the ego and the crotch.  Sometimes problems with your sexual apparatus will occur to keep you out of someone else’s bed.   Here again, if you haven’t been listening to what the universe says to you on a daily (or nightly) basis, you may panic and assume that you are cursed and God is punishing you.  If God punished everyone for every mistake that they made the punishments would never stop and everyone who screws up would be dead by now.  You are in personal instruction mode and this is the best way to get your attention or it would not be happening.    What you can learn from being alone will be taught much faster if you will stop fighting it.  Most of the time a period of celibacy is a temporary thing and you will find companionship and affection again when you have recognized and broken through the illusions.  When it isn’t, in many cases, the person has discovered that they prefer the lifestyle and continue with it by their own choice, or they are refusing to come to terms with what they need to balance their life.  The point of every life experience is to help you become the person that you were meant to be.  If you want to be that, then life cannot hand you an impossible task because it is to that end that everything aspires.

I cannot tell you what your personal life reason for experiencing celibacy is.  Not without doing a psychic reading for you.  But I will say that many times you are suffering from a misunderstanding of the opposite sex or a misunderstanding of why you tend to choose the kind of partners that you do.  Misogynism tends to loom large in the need for an adjustment in your sexual attitude and we have seen an increase in this in the past few years that is reaching a level of imbalance that I have never witnessed before in my lifetime.

In an age of sexual saturation in the media, the need to understand how to navigate your way around pornography and what its existence has created in society is another likely element of why you have been pulled out of the sexual circle.  This has become so pervasive and so common place that it is a “college level” course in humanity and it is a tough nut to crack when you cannot easily escape it.  You most likely won’t though, unless you are taken out of the equation somehow.  If you own a television or a computer you will have it to some degree in your home whether you want it or not.  Let the universe guide you here.  If you find yourself feeling offended at what you see go with that feeling and let yourself be told how to handle it.  If you are not offended or troubled by what you see, you have some serious work to do because we are not here to use, abuse, hate, kill, or sabotage each other.  You already know that this is happening worldwide, but that those who engage in the behavior are seemingly getting away with it only shows that if you and others don’t break from the madness and try to redirect energy away from the trashing of the planet and the human race you will never see an end to the violence and misery that our culture is suffering from.  This truly is a situation where if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

Another reason for experiencing celibacy can be that you are being protected from becoming involved with people who can only cause you more problems and grief.  Sometimes we are not in a position to interact with anyone who can benefit us.  If there is no one in your environment who can be complementary to your beliefs or lifestyle then you are better off to not become involved in a situation that has no benefit or value in your life.  Be glad that there is some built in protection for you from this because most people will attract the wrong people for karmic reasons and the fallout from their appearance can be devastating for a long time if you tend to ignore the danger signs that the universe provides you with.

Thank God that you have been taken aside and are being shown a way that you may contribute the the elimination of these seemingly insurmountable problems that humanity is facing.  Someone has to have the instinct and the ability to try to reverse the way we are behaving toward each other.  Even if all of your friends are good, kind, brave, truthful, and honest you can see that a large portion of the population is not and if you have been called  to stand aside for a moment in time and rethink your position then you are a part of the solution in some way that you may not be aware of right now.

If you are willing to listen, then you may discover that your place here is one of extreme importance.  Idiots are not called to the higher levels in this way.  You have an important contribution to life or you could not even comprehend what is calling upon your soul. People need you.  Society is coming apart at the seams, and those who recognize this will be damn glad that you are here and trying to make a difference, one person at a time.  A friend of mine was once very close to a mental break down at one point in his life and a very learned person told him that by getting himself together he could make a difference in so many lives by his example of getting beyond his personal grief.  He told him that there were people who were going to die without him taking control of himself and passing his experience on to others.  You truly must understand that without passing along your wisdom to others they are very likely to fall in to gender victimization traps and be completely unable to see past the sexual stranglehold that is wearing away our ability to interact with others in a sane and balanced way.   Relationships are becoming impossible. The victimizing and enslaving of children is going to make it impossible for the next generation to lead the world forward and create a society that can reverse the process that ours has put in place. We won’t see an end to what we have made of this world when our children are not learning how to not perpetuate it. Without each person taking responsibility for their own thoughts and actions humanity has no place to go except into collapse. If you don’t want to see this happen, don’t allow it.  You may only be one person,  but your example and refusal to cooperate with the destruction are powerful antidotes for a poisoned world.      

Turn On. Tune In.

There are many people who are born with their psychic radar switched on.  In fact, most psychics that I have known were already operating in harmony with their abilities by the time they were teenagers, but it was not like that for me.  As fascinated as I was with the ability to tap into the universal knowledge I did not believe that it was in me to do so.  I accepted that and went to the people who already had the ability if I felt the need to know where I was going in life.  I was comfortable with this for a long time until I went to a psychic in Little Rock, Arkansas who threw me a few curve balls in the course of my reading with him that made me feel less comfortable in my comfort zone.

It is annoying as hell to have a reading with someone who believes things about you that you have no previous awareness of and cannot confirm.  I had two readings with this man, whom I will call Dennis, who said much without saying enough.  This was during a time when I had a lot more trust in people than I do now.  I found this man in the classified section of the newspaper, where most of the psychics were found back then unless you heard about them through word of mouth.  I would not do this for all the tea in China, now, but at that time I figured that it was safe during daylight hours.    I wouldn’t be this trusting for anything now. Times are not what they used to be.

Dennis was very well mannered and cordial.  He lived in extremely modest circumstances in a “shotgun-style” duplex apartment that was probably built in the 1920’s. He had a very calm and light voice when he asked me to sit in a chair opposite where he was sitting on the bed.  He took out a legal pad and pen and started writing something, then, he looked up and spoke in a much deeper voice and asked me why I had come.  I was as thrown by the question as I was by the change in his voice.  When I told him that I just wanted a general reading, he didn’t act like he believed me.  He asked me if I could read myself.  I said no.  He didn’t seem to believe that either.  He paused for a minute, then he asked me if my sister could read.  That struck me as funny.  I hadn’t said that I had a sister, and she wouldn’t have  had a clue in hell about anything psychic, so I guess I laughed a bit and told him no.  He didn’t think that anything was funny either.  He asked me if I was married.  I said that I was.  He described a man to me and asked me if this was what my husband looked like.  It wasn’t.  He seemed confused, but after a few minutes of questioning he apparently decided that what- ever it was he knew, I really didn’t, so he stopped questioning me and started to tell me about a past life of mine.  I knew nothing of reincarnation at that time, but I listened with some amusement as he told me that I was quite immoral in that particular life and that I probably tended to garner a lot of resentment from people in this life.  He explained that I was meeting people whom I had known in previous lives and they resented me because in their unconscious they knew that I had probably slept with their husbands or boyfriends.  Even though I couldn’t verify that for a second it was no lie that I have always had an uncanny ability to just walk into a room and suddenly be hated.  It was easy to just think that I must have walked in to a room full of very jealous people but something about what he said rang true.  Dennis also asked me if I had any trouble swallowing.  Truly, I have had that problem for most of my life although it wasn’t enough to interfere greatly with my functioning.  Then he asked me if I was afraid of water.  Actually, I am and always have been.  He then proceeded to tell me that I had been killed in two previous lifetimes for being a “witch”.  I won’t go into any more of the details of the reading but with everything that Dennis told me I couldn’t help but feel like there was something more to what he was saying than just some random insight from the universe. I will say that even though I was intrigued by the possibility of having lived before,  It didn’t really register with me that it was true.  It sounded possible and plausible given the things that I had experienced to some degree in my life but it did not seem actually real to me so I just took it as an interesting possibility.

After the past life part of the reading, Dennis started asking me again about why I was there and if I could read.  When I repeated that I could not he wanted me to try an out of body experience.  I almost thought he was joking but when he tried to take me into a light state of hypnosis I knew he wasn’t kidding.  Once he realized that it just wasn’t going to happen for me he gave up. This particular reading went on for about 4 hours which is not the normal length of a psychic reading that I had ever had before or subsequently.   My reason for retelling this event in my life is to let you know that this man, high level as he was, was totally convinced that I was hiding the fact that I was a high level mystic myself and was just trying to test his ability against my own.  If he hadn’t been accurate on so many other things that he told me and hadn’t opened a door to the many things that lay ahead of me I would have thought he was out of his freaking mind, but basically I just took away a sense of him knowing something that I did not comprehend yet.  And it was extremely annoying, too. This sort of behavior toward me would be repeated many times after that by other psychics.

A few years later I went to a “Psychic Fair” at a new age bookstore in Memphis, Tennessee. It was an event where dozens of psychics set up tables in the store and you could get a reading for as little as $10.00.  It was my first time attending one of them and it was difficult to decide which psychic to try.  I finally settled on one who looked friendly, and I was right, he was.  The first thing that he asked me was if I was a reader.  I said that I wasn’t, although I had been using Tarot cards for my own amusement for a while.  The man, I will call him Robert, looked at me with an interesting grin and told me that if I would try a little harder I could be a better psychic than anyone in the place.  I liked the sound of that but didn’t really know what “try a little harder” actually meant.  Robert told me of a relationship that would be coming into my life that would be a pretty big deal, as far as relationships go.  I was single again by now and was happy to hear this.  He also told me that this one was going to be on a far deeper level emotionally than he had ever seen before. He said that this could even be a soul mate or twin soul reunion.  He seemed blown away by the intensity of what he was seeing.  I wasn’t exactly sure what the term “soul mates” meant at that time but I accepted that this was going to be a pretty big deal if it manifested. He also told me that I could communicate telepathically if I would acknowledge it and use it.  I didn’t know what the hell to make of that but I thought that it was fascinating.   I would probably have discarded much of what he told me after the predictions did not come true for a long time except for the fact that this was something that I would be repeatedly told in subsequent readings until I met someone who was truly going to change my life and make the prediction of my being a high level mystic come to pass; after a whole lot of mental work and difficult times.

I will save the telling of meeting the greatest mentor of my life for a later date.  I have had several mentors in my journey toward realizing my true self and the abilities that were latent in my soul just waiting to be discovered, but I have recounted two pivotal moments in my life that set the stage for becoming all that I could be and knowing how to find peace in even the most difficult of circumstances.

It is possible to connect with the universe in ways that you may not be able to imagine right now.  There is a wealth of information about you in the cosmos that is there for the taking.  It is much like doing a Google search on yourself.  The psychics that I saw were able to do a search of that infinite wisdom.  Because of that, it was possible to see all about me, past, present and future.  There were amazing abilities available to me if I allowed myself to utilize them. I might never have known about them if I hadn’t been willing to allow that search and trust in others who could see further into my true self than I was able to do.

The evolution of the human race is in extreme turmoil now and not likely to improve without major changes in the way we think and how we relate to ourselves and to others.  Without discovering our true selves and our inborn capabilities we have little hope of seeing lasting peace in our lifetimes.  The ability to understand and control your personal journey is rapidly becoming a thing that you simply must be able to do to navigate in this complicated world. It is going to be impossible to prevent yourself from falling in to the traps that others are falling into every day.  You will have no way of knowing where you are going and why you are headed in that direction without basic knowledge of your life path; where it began, what is available to you to make the best use of your particular place in it and what you can do to stop the madness of others from bringing you down to their level. If there are no mentors or support people in your life right now, know that you still can reclaim your birthright to be what you came here to be.  In this blog I will be telling you ways that can transform your life.  Make use of them.  You are always invited to go back to the past with me.  Your journey will be a fascinating one. 

For A Noble Cause

Your journey into self awareness is going to take you outside of yourself and onto paths that you may not realize are relevant in the beginning.  Some people have more to learn in this life than others and if you are one of those who will become a counselor or a world changer you will have more side trips than most.

Some of you will be met with an issue that probably will go against everything that you were taught as a child regarding nutrition and health and that is the issue of eating meat.  Is it right or is it wrong to kill a living thing and consume it?  Who has more rights on this planet, you or the multitude of other creatures who inhabit it?  All things have life. There are some people who believe that you must mentally warn a vegetable that you are going to consume it before you cut and prepare it so that it can acknowledge this and “faint” beforehand.  Nature and evolution contain all of the answers that are necessary and appropriate to sustain life, but you must make sense of them and balance them with what is truly correct for you. 

If it is in you to pursue a life without eating meat it can become a conviction that you will be tempted to impose upon others.  I would not recommend that.  Start with yourself and try to follow in the footsteps of Gandhi whenever you feel the urge to preach to the unconverted;  be the change that you would like to see in the world.  Those who convert to vegetarianism many times become too over-zealous in their desire to promote a good thing to others.  These types tend to give a bad impression of vegetarians and vegans to everyone who has not learned the benefits of such a lifestyle yet.  Truly, some people will never learn it, but that does not mean that you have to shun and shame them for not being at your level.  To do so is bullying, pure and simple.  It is good to understand that all living creatures have a right to live their lives and not be interfered with just because humans are hungry, but you will not make your case well by mocking and insulting those who have not reached your level of understanding yet. Bear in mind that you were once where they are and the snooty vegetarians who act superior are no better than the jack-asses who insult them for appearing self-righteous.  A mentor of mine once told me that you cannot change everyone and make them like you for what you are doing.  The best that you can do is bless them and go on. Let it go, and keep with what you are.  You will still be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be comfortable with you.  Self acceptance is at the heart of peace.  You do not need the approval of others to live the convictions that are important to you.  To expect that approval defeats the purpose of finding your true self. Approval seekers are not capable of knowing their own individualism. What you are and what you are meant to be must be shown to the world as the self they are either going to receive as worthy or not.  You have no control over this and it is futile to try to convince others of it.  Learn to live without this or know that you will spend your entire life trying to get and maintain constant approval. It is actually you that you are trying to convince of your worth, and until you believe in it, you will never get off the treadmill of trying to feed your hungry soul. Once you have accomplished the approval of yourself, for yourself, you can mirror this back to others who have the ears to hear and the eyes to see, and approval, if it comes, will feel deserved.

If you feel that eating meat may not be the right thing to do but you don’t know where to start to change your eating habits and can’t even imagine a life without steak, chicken, cheeseburgers, and turkey at Thanksgiving, a good place to begin to change your feelings might be to see the film “Temple Grandin”.  This movie is not about becoming a vegetarian.  Miss Grandin herself is not a vegetarian, she is an autistic young woman who becomes interested in cattle ranching and animal studies.  She is in no way advocating that people stop eating meat.  What she is advocating is that the animals be treated humanely and with respect for their inborn nature.  I won’t go in to her struggles in doing this.  I will save that for when you watch the film.  My reason for recommending it is because it is a good place to begin to have compassion for the animals that are sacrificed so that you may have meat on the table.  It may only serve to show you some compassion for the woman, Temple Grandin, because she has to struggle hard to overcome the many obstacles that life laid before her.  But even if you only take away some empathy for her,  you will still have taken away something of value.

If you are already fairly certain that you would like to stop eating meat, another film that I would recommend to you that may actually inspire you to accomplish it is the documentary, “Food, Inc.”   Learning more about the process of food coming from the farm and the factory to your table is profoundly humbling.  Most people never give a second thought to how a cow or a pig or a chicken go from a living thing to packaged, processed parts in the grocery store.   The film is quite an eye opener and some of it is downright harrowing to watch,  but if you are going to put something in your mouth and let it run through your digestive system you really need to be informed of what is in it and where it came from. Watching this documentary alone gave me the incentive to give up meat there and then.  I had tried to go vegetarian before and did not stay with it, but after watching, I was able to stop again and I have maintained that conviction. Be prepared for some very disturbing images.  Also be prepared to learn that there are people in this world who do not give one big damn about anything but making money at the expense of anyone and anything that must be sacrificed to get it.  It is very sad to find that this kind of  “I don’t give a shit about anybody but me” attitude exists but it truly does.  If this film does motivate you to stop eating meat for whatever conviction it may move you to manifest, know that you are making a significant contribution to your own health and well being by what you are doing.  Nearly every major illness such as heart disease, cancer, and diabetes (if you survive them) will require you to either cut back on your consumption of meat or give it up entirely in order to return to wellness.  It is too bad that the medical establishment does not endorse being vegetarian from the moment of birth. 

I don’t expect that everyone who watches either of these films will be as motivated as I was. Many of my friends saw “Food, Inc” and felt it was disturbing and thought provoking, but ultimately they did not change anything in their eating habits.  Still, I believe in planting seeds and hoping that somewhere down the road the messages in these two films will spark the necessary inspiration to rethink what they saw at a later date when its message may be more relevant to their stage in life. It can only benefit this world and everyone in it to respect and care for all who are on planet earth, be it animal, vegetable, mineral or human.  All who are here deserve to live life to the fullest and have the opportunity to live it well.

Many times you have to go backwards to move forward.  This may seem like a waste of time and effort to backtrack so much when you want to move ahead, but to find yourself at the point where you even realize a change should be made in your life is the universe urging you to evolve.  Most of the time, our evolution requires us to go back and remember how we got to this point in the first place.  There is a higher knowledge at work, and that you see it at all is a sign that there is so much more potential in you than you might imagine, but some deprogramming of yourself is always going to be necessary because to one extent or another, you have acquired a lot of “other people’s” baggage over time.  It is up to you to determine how much of your reality is truly you.  It is a mixture of your original self and the evolution of your soul.  Original self can be found in the past, and knowing where you have been will help you discard all of the unnecessary debris that others have imposed upon you.  Remember the past, live in the present, and think in the future.  A whole life emerges from this.  And your life is only one in all the universe, but it is one that has great worth and great potential.  Just be mindful that other life forms have their place in the cosmic scheme of things as well.  And many of them depend upon you for their very lives.